18 June : Today I have to go to see Dr. Unsworth for an Xray of my abdomen to see if I have any stool blockage in my bowel. I have a lot of mucus coming from my anus. Most of the time is tinted in red. This week my days have been very short... I slept a lot during the day. I get tired so easy. I lay down on the sofa with my oxygen and off I go. My half hour naps are now hours in a row... things have definitively changed for me. I still make the effort in the morning to walk on the treadmill for half an hour and always feel better after it. Last night we went out for a late shopping. When I am out of the house I see my situation. Home is my safe place. A place were I am not reminded of what is going on. I just follow my routines, I rest whenever I need. When we go out I always end up having enough before we are done and I wait for Eileen in the van with my seat fully reclined. Tomorrow we are invited to a wedding and we will drive to Saskatoon... with the camper van (there is a comfortable bed at the back when I need one). I am looking forward to the outing.

15 June : I have been away from the diary long enough. Today Roses Stewart (pharmacist at Victoria Square Compounding Pharmacy) came to visit me and brought me some innovative pain killers that work by application on the skin and only on the area. They work directly on nerves reducing the pain. My main problem is still my bowel movement. I still can't get it regular and I still take laxatives that make diarrea. I have not seen proper stool for quite a while now. Rose will make some inquiries to see what else we could do. Rose is not only a pharmacist specialized in compound medications... she is also working in palliative care. The workers are out of the house and the living room is almost done. Now we only have to wait for Rick (RKX) to finish the cabinets. I take oxygen now several times a day. I am now officially in palliative care... this brings memories back... 1998 with Cora illness. I am all the time in the house now. I have many naps in the day. I do some computer work and some light house construction... after all I think I will see the end of this house project. My morning weight was 67 kg.

6 June : Last Friday I was at the Victoria Hospital to have Dr. Friesen adjust my stoma again. When I was standing up it was coming out a good 3 inches. I was having such a bad sense of discomfort. And was interfering with my normal bowel movement. So this time he went for something more radical. He pushed the stoma all in and stitched it to stay this way. I can't believe what a difference it makes for me not to see the "monster" hanging like a second penis (I call the stoma the "monster" - after 3 months there is still not acceptance for anything hanging out of my body). We will have to see if it will work. My main problem now is that the feces can irritate the skin. This is why the normal stoma has to come out a little. In any case right now I feel much more myself. I have big pains from the new stitches. It will take a few days before I can have a bowel movement without pain. But my spirit is up and I feel more energetic. I have taken tools in my hand and yesterday I lay cedar on the bathroom wall upstairs. I had workers in the house all last week. I can't stand having people doing construction work for me... the main problem was that they started fast and during the week they started slowing down. They have one more day here. After that I will finish it myself. Building is still such a therapeutic activity and also a fulfilling one. Yesterday Eileen enjoyed the warmest day of the week and worked on the plants in our back yard. She enjoyed it so much. Today is raining again.